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Surviving the Pain of Initiation

Whenever the term ‘initiation’ is used to describe an extended period of turmoil and struggle, I cringe; because in my own experiences, INITIATIONS are seldom fun.

Initiations are often grueling, gauntlet-running tests of inner strength and endurance.  So when Dr. Joe Dispenza said the following yesterday, I sighed, knowing how likely it is to be true:

“…I believe we are on the verge of a great evolutionary jump. Another way to say it is that we are going through an initiation.  After all, isn’t an initiation a rite of passage from one level of consciousness to another, and isn’t it designed to challenge the fabric of who we are so we can grow to a greater potential?  Maybe when we see, remember, and awaken to who we truly are, human beings can move as a collective consciousness from a state of surviving into a state of thriving. It is then that we can emerge into our true nature and fully access our innate capacity as human beings—which is to give, to love, to serve, and to take care of one another and the Earth.”


So to help promote that ability for us all to survive what needs to be survived, here are a few FREE audios that were sent to me over the past week that you also can listen to in hopes they may help to calm your fears and anxieties.


Searching for Answers

During times of deep uncertainty, we all search for answers to help navigate through our confusion. Sometimes we find ‘an answer’ that seems to fit the situation, and other times, we may grasp at any answer offered by anyone other than ourselves, because we know for certain that WE don’t know which end is UP, so maybe someone else does. 

Finding answers for ourselves is often much harder than listening to a medium or a psychic who may be quite willing to connect into the ethers for us and provide answers of sorts to our questions. I’m not saying that this desire for others to provide us with answers to our personal/spiritual questions is a bad thing; what I’m saying is that you also have that ability to access your own answers for yourself if you take the time and effort to do so. 

Mediation is a good starting point to calm an active mind that thrives on distraction. If you can meditate long enough to feel more at peace inside, then you can learn to still yourself to actually hear/intuit/know the answers to your deepest questions.

And personally, rather than hearing someone else’s interpretation of messages meant for me, I’d prefer to hear it first-hand from my own higher self or my guiding spirits team because everyone uses their own info-input filter on the world.  And while that medium or psychic could have the best intentions for accurately relaying the message meant for you, they are human with their own biases and interpretation systems that may modulate the message as it passes through them.

Learning to access your own inner guidance system is a part of your personal transformation process—it’s a part of finding your own truth for yourself.

Sometimes ‘answers’ are what we think that we want, but other times the real importance is in the question itself.  Beyond the obvious words that you are using in that stated question, WHAT are you actually asking? WHY are you asking it? HOW will knowing the answer to that question affect your life?

Take the time to still yourself and get to know who you truly are, and THEN ask any question that you think you must ask.  That answer will likely be the one that matters most to your current life. 

“Great Opportunities Disguised As Impossible Situations”

Because I like sharing information that is pertinent and insightful, I’m putting a Dr. Joe quote on here. I’ve been a fan for over a year; and he has numerous YouTube videos of his conferences and workshops to watch if you are interested.


 “We are all faced with great opportunities, brilliantly disguised as impossible situations. And there’s always a door. We have to see adversity and challenges from a greater level of consciousness, not the same consciousness that created it. That’s how we evolve.⁣

We have to rise to a different level of awareness and believe in possibility. When we do this, it awakens an innate capacity in us to be greater. Otherwise, we fall victim to our environment.”

As an energy and consciousness worker myself (REIKI, Shamanic, Hypnosis) I know that what he’s suggesting here is far more than a ‘rah-rah’ pep-talk on keeping your thoughts positive.  He’s referring to accessing levels of consciousness that are actually higher-frequencies of energy which we are capable of utilizing to change our currently undesirable situation for our betterment.

From the most literal reading, he accurately explains the power of our thoughts in creating the environment around us, but more importantly, he can actually show you how to refocus your thoughts to shift your body’s response to whatever you are facing because we are units of fast-changing energy that is in constant motion, perpetually evolving us into ever newer and higher states of being.

The shamanic teacher Dr. Alberto Villoldo would call this process ‘selecting your destiny,’ where you make the conscious choice to create the world around you that you desire; and you accomplish that amazing feat energetically by retooling your energy field to attract more desirable higher-frequency energies.

Again, if you have had no experience with energy or consciousness work, you will have no personal examples to reference on this subject, but either or both of these two men can provide that personal experience for you through their books and by watching their online videos.

Just saying, if you are tired of feeling the collective’s fear and anxiety energies, then try feeling something higher-frequency and more hopeful for a better tomorrow.  

An Unfortunate Time for Inner Reflection

Normally I would suggest that spending quality time in isolation is a perfect way to meditate and reflect on our lives, etc., but there is too much at stake here for flippancy, and I doubt that many would see this period of time as advantageous for much of anything.

I will say that if you do meditate regularly that’s a great benefit to you since you are used to controlling your thoughts and breathing over whatever might be happening around you; but for those who are trying to learn meditation now because you may have this extra time to do so and it would be nice to have something that eased your anxiety over our collective situation, then you may experience a mild challenge in slowing your breath and pulse rate, or in clearing your head of worrisome thoughts.  Soothing tunes might help, and definitely shutting off the non-stop, news shows are recommended. 

Perhaps this isolation period could be a time for more intense journaling to get the worst of your inner fears out of your head and onto the paper under your hand. There is something cathartic about channeling raw emotions from your deepest recesses out through a kinetic medium like handwriting that triggers a release of those stifled memories.  It really helps give voice to the hidden part of you that many call “the inner child”.  And that frightened “inner child” is often fearful for a very good reason.

It’s been quite awhile since I last read John Bradshaw’s HOMECOMING: Reclaiming and Championing Your Inner Child, but that book is a good starting point to better understanding why we presently react with such overt fear over any situation that logically should not affect us quite so severely. He suggests we might better understand this sudden, present-day eruption of emotion by becoming more aware of how we could be emotionally stuck at the earliest-stages of our life due to childhood trauma.

Bradshaw even describes some visualization techniques for supporting and reclaiming that scared or wounded child that you may have once been.  Shamans would call that process similar to the ‘retrieval of lost soul parts’ but it doesn’t matter what you call the technique.  It only matters what works to help you become more whole again—more solid—more stable in your body—more sure of yourself—more confident that you can handle whatever you need to handle.  That’s the purpose for doing it.

In fact the entire point of self-healing is to become WHOLE again—to become all that you once had the potential to be; and it can take some serious inner work to rebuild your once-promising ‘potential-self’ that might have been emotionally damaged by others when you were just a defenseless, dependent child.

There are NO good reasons for hurting a child. Sometimes children are simply the easiest or most opportune targets for venting an adult’s pent-up frustrations and life-dissatisfaction issues.  It’s a sad reality that many know firsthand.  And times like the present where there is so much fear and insecurity in the collective, may actually ignite an old, smoldering, childhood wound that surfaces once again looking for more ‘fear’ oxygen to burn anew.

If you are experiencing something along those lines, it’s okay to feel whatever you are feeling.  Sometimes old fears rise up fresh and strong to allow us to more closely examine why they exist in us at all.

So if this time of turmoil and uncertainty is making for sleepless nights, just get the old journal out and start scribbling away on whatever is foremost in your mind—all the anxiety, all the sadness—all the feelings of abandonment and betrayal that you once felt to your core that are likely being triggered now.  And since there was no prior outlet for you to vent that pain, you simply stuffed it down deeper inside. So let it ALL out now—let it pour out of your pen into that journal—writing page after page—tracing memory after memory as they arise.

Once you get it out of your head and onto that paper as actual evidence of your once having been wronged or mistreated or ignored or abused in any way, then it will be that much easier the next night to close your eyes and feel some sense of relief over those memories expulsions from that part of your mind where you had so deeply buried them.

And seriously, no matter where you are right now, it’s okay to feel scared. It’s okay to be upset or emotional. It’s okay to be confused and anxious and wishing for a better day ahead rather than what you are currently experiencing.  Those are honest emotions, and we should recognize them for what they are and how powerful they can be when they do affect us. It’s far better to acknowledge that they exist within us, than to pretend that they don’t. You can better deal with them when you can recognize that you’re being affected by them.

It’s OKAY to feel unsure or anxious or frightened about what is happening to you and to those you care most about, because you are doing your very best right now in your own way to simply deal with whatever you are facing. We all handle situations differently, and for certain we all want to get through this rough patch in our lives as quickly and as easily as possible for each of us.  And while I doubt that it will be a quick and easy recovery by any standard, I do know that it is very likely for us to recover intact and restart our lives again.

Of course we all may want our lives to return to the normalcy we once knew a few months ago, but for a little awhile longer THIS is our current normal, and we must learn to adapt and accept the present challenges that we may face.  We learn, we adapt, and we grow through the discomforts faced in the learning phase.

So to the best of our ability we do what we need to do and we keep our focus on moving forward toward a better day ahead, whenever that day might be.  We’ll get through this.  There is no doubt about that.

What was that stupid slogan I mentioned in a previous post? “Tough times don’t last, tough people do.”

Hmm, yeah, it didn’t sound any better used here, did it. 

Sorry.  Hang in there!

The Personal Nature of LIFE

Unlike my early adulthood, as the years pass I’ve noticed my egoic-self is less inclined to think that I know ‘all there is to know’ about everything.

In fact I can now easily accept with humility how little I actually DO know about this LIFE, and while I certainly have my own opinions and beliefs on just about every aspect of the world that we do know, they are simply my personal takes on LIFE based on my own research and life experiences.

But drawing from those personal experiences of many subjects not usually within the ‘scientific-testability’ range, I will say that we can’t even begin to fathom what we don’t know about this world, or begin to comprehend the true composition of our personal lives as we are living them here in this earth plane of existence.  We only think that we know it.  

As a unified, self-preserving society, we’ve concocted a set of semi-comfortable answers to all of LIFE’s questions that allow us to relax productively into our daily duties so we don’t have to be distracted by the true mysteries still existing all around us.

To lessen our anxiety over the uncertainty that those ‘life-mysteries’ project, we often value sameness and familiarity in our lives so that we develop patterns for living to help us relax, and those patterns eventually become our habitual behaviors.

In time we turn our habitual behaviors into our life path that we walk daily until some unexpected event forces us to self-reflect on why we are still walking it.

Once we allow the time for proper reflection of our habitual actions, we can see that early on we may have chosen our life path for a few basic reasons—some reasons may have been economics-based, some may have been emotions-based, some even needs-based; and if those previous reasons for choosing the path were meaningful to us in some way, we granted that path priority over the other possible options. 

However, when the same path that we walked daily became too burdensome, too boring, or lost depth of that earlier-determined meaningfulness, we yearned for another path to travel until we eventually found one.

I’ve always searched for greater meaning to my life, so every path that I have walked has either shown me something that I had not previously known about myself or known about the world around me, or both. 

Each path that I explored forced me to adopt a different viewing angle through which to see this world that we share.  Each path offered me a different perspective on my own life—different from what I initially thought my life to be—and the effect was like sunlight passing through a prism, being refracted into separate rainbow-colored light-waves across the wall.

Without that path’s necessary prism having separated out the sunlight’s components for me, I couldn’t have witnessed those beautiful rainbow colors; couldn’t have seen them so distinctly defined in that precise manner. That is the essence of what my life experiences have shown me—the world that we think we know is far more than it first appears to be. We simply need to view it through a prism of sorts to see those underlying components.

That new-perspective prism allows us to see the world in all of its undeniable beauty and still-shimmering glory; and to realize at last that this world that we once believed to be so elemental, crude, and constrained by the limits of human ingenuity, is instead a miraculous cosmic soup of unlimited possibilities just waiting to materialize when our creative intentions match our enlightened thinking.

Ultimately you can believe of this LIFE whatever you wish. You can frame your life by whatever philosophical or religious context that best fits your need at the time. That is your prerogative.

But the real question to consider is does that personal belief add to your self-knowledge—does it add to your understanding of who and what you truly are—does it add to your awareness of what you are capable of achieving with your determination and perseverance aligned—does it help you learn to believe in yourself above all others when times are hard and friends are few? 

Does it strengthen you; invigorate you?

Does it help excite you to the unlimited possibilities lying just ahead but slightly beyond your present reach?

Does it encourage you to reach even farther than you are presently able?

I’m certainly no expert on anything here other than the personal nature of my own life—I can readily acknowledge that fact.

But can you say the same thing? Who knows YOU better than you do?

Isn’t gaining a better sense of WHO you really are, what you are searching for now?

When you do eventually find your own TRUTH, you will then realize that you are indeed one of LIFE’s greatest miracles because you are also one of life’s most perplexing mysteries still awaiting consideration.

While searching for your true path, for the betterment of yourself and the rest of us existing here with you, I hope you will discover your ‘TRUE-SELF’s’ capabilities just to witness first-hand the magical world of unlimited possibilities simply awaiting you.

Hopefully now is the right time for you to determine that illusive answer to who you really are in all your luminous magnificence.  It will be an awesome discovery for you, that I guarantee, and one not likely to disappoint in any way.  

Facing Our Fears

There is little certainty in LIFE. Some would then quip ‘other than Death and Taxes’, but the lack of certainty in our lives is what gives us that uncomfortable pause—the surety hesitation.

And there is little that makes us question ourselves faster than facing a test of courage, and nothing tests our courage like facing down our eventual mortality.

Those who train for battle prepare themselves for the fight ahead; whether on the battlefield or in the chemo-infusion lab. We mentally ready ourselves for what we know will be a test of stamina and will-power to survive no matter what we might face.  We tell ourselves that we are tough! We can do this!

We’ll be okay. We know this.  But just in case we don’t, we ask for a little extra help:

‘And please,’ we pray, ‘let us face this fight with courage and grace. Let us be strong and proud, and hold to our principles, and maintain our convictions, and have the sheer guts to face down whatever foe may stand in our way until the fighting is over.  Amen.’

Except the real foe that we are often ignoring here is the FEAR that we may be pushing aside—the FEAR that we are shoving deep, deep down inside us—FEAR that we simply don’t want to face—FEAR that turns our resolve to jelly and our bowels to liquid.

FEAR is a very tough adversary, and it knows how to utilize our biggest vulnerabilities. And overall what is our largest, most debilitating FEAR?

We fear DEATH.

In truth, no one gets out of this LIFE alive. No one.  We all have a shelf-life. We all have our time doing whatever it is that we do, and then we simply wear out doing it. Our bodies aren’t meant for unlimited usage.  Our DNA may determine our likely longevity, but our lifestyles often dictate the probability of dying sooner than preprogrammed.  That is just how it is.

While many cultures around the world are more open to this undeniable acceptance of our eventual mortality, the western-world culture seems determined to pretend LIFE doesn’t actually end that way.

The good news—no seriously, there is GOOD news in this—the GOOD news is that you’ve already been through DEATH many, many times because this isn’t your first time in this earth plane.  

Now why I say this is that I’m also a certified hypnotist—but more specifically, the aspect of hypnosis that I most love to practice with clients is Past-Life Exploration or Spirit-World Exploration.  I can literally guide a client into connecting with his/her High-Self which is essentially the functioning database of ‘ALL LIVES’ that a person has ever experienced.  

It is pretty amazing event for both the client and for me as ‘observing participant’ during the past-life exploration process.  Evidently we keep doing this ‘living/dying thing’ over and over for the unique experiences that ‘LIVING IN THIS PLANE OF EXISTENCE’ provides us.   

I won’t go into great detail about the entire PLE hypnosis process, but basically I guide the client to personally meeting with his/her High Self and we then ask the High Self to show the client a previous life experience that pertains to any particular ‘present-life issue’ that the client asks to explore.   I don’t even need to know the issue, as the client can silently ask her High Self without saying it directly to me. 

Now I may eventually surmise what the issue might involve by the previous life shown to us by the High Self and the examples provided that emphasize helping the client to see similarities in living situations where this expressed  ISSUE played prior, and how it was resolved then.  But overall, I simply follow along and ask questions to gather information on what the client is seeing, feeling, and experiencing in that situation being shown to her; and we can ask the High Self to clarify what she needs to know (the lesson, the learning value, etc.) from what the client is being shown, when it isn’t obvious to her.

And lastly in that particular High-Self-provided-life-experience, I ask the client to visit themselves at the moment of their death in that life and describe it—what was happening, how did they die, who was there, what did they feel, etc.  So the client can see/feel first-hand how death was faced in that life and more importantly, what happened to them afterwardsAFTER the client had died in that life.  I simply ask the client to describe it as best she can without my tainting the scenario in anyway.

Every PLE client told me the same thing: that their spirit rose out of the dead body and lingered a bit to assess the situation, and then a Spirit-guide of some sort provided a little information about what had just happened to them and why it had happened in that manner, and then escorted their newly-released spirit to a Spirit World dimension where they received some additional healing energies, some further explanations on their previous experience, and some down-time to fully recoup before trying it all over again in a different life with a different body.

During my 1.5 hour Past-Life Exploration sessions, I would ask each person’s High-Self to guide the client to at least three different Past-lives to explore that client-desired issue. That is three different bodies—three different life situations—three different eventual deaths per client.  So that at the end of the hypnosis session, the client can understand that death isn’t what it seems to be—it’s not so much the END of everything—it’s more like the reset button to an eventual different life experience entirely.

Buddhists talk about reincarnation.  Well this might be similar to that, but not exactly like how they describe it. It’s also not hard to see how what we call ‘karma’ might be pertinent to the next life’s explorations as further study material on the repercussions of our previous actions, but I don’t want to make any declarations of specifics on that subject either.  

In fact I’ll admit that I’m limited in my understanding of it all, but I can see through my own personal experiences and the experiences of others that I have witnessed, how something similar to ‘karma’ could be applied to the ‘reset life’. 

But right here, right now, what I basically want to emphasize to anyone reading this is that we naturally FEAR our death.  Death represents the END of this life existence for us.  But as has been shown to me over and over again through dozens of clients exploring many of their own past-lives, DEATH is not really the END of us because we exist beyond the physical body.  

There was a quote I saved from a book I read long ago, …I think it was from one of the Emmanuel books, and it said, “Death is not to be feared.  Death is NOT the enemy.  The ‘ENTRANCE’ and ‘EXIT’ doors of LIFE are merely mislabeled.  LIFE itself is the adventurous excursion away from home, and DEATH is merely the guide back HOME.”

From what I’ve experienced myself and with my hypnosis clients, I’m pretty sure that statement is true.  At least I can say that I know that it’s TRUE for me.  

While you are here to find your own truth, I just want to assure you that DEATH is not something to fear. The energetic part of you (your spirit) has already survived it many, many times. 

That also doesn’t mean that you should eagerly run toward death as an escape from your current life difficulties, because as I mentioned previously, whatever issues you don’t satisfactorily resolve in one life will quickly transfer to another; and perhaps facing the current hardship without trying to escape it was the entire point of this life experience for you.  I’ve seen/heard that similar scenario from my clients as well who tried to opt-out early in a previous life only to face the same thing again and again until they handled it differently.

So as we stare at our reflection in the bathroom mirror, and we shake our heads trying to make some kind of sense out of being human in this crazy world, the best I can tell you is to just ‘KEEP ON KEEPING ON’.

While that might not be a good answer, it’s the best one I’ve found to face whatever lies ahead for us with the necessary courage and grace.  

We can do this!  

It’s what we do.

Making Sense

Quote taken from a recent show promo exploring unusual happenings around us:  “Not everything in life makes sense,” she said to him, wiping tears from his cheeks. “Sometimes, LIFE just IS.”   

I’m sure that we’ve all had some strange or unusual experience that made us question whether or not it had actually occurred, or whether we simply thought that it did. And I certainly can’t speak for others in this regard, but I’ve personally had numerous opportunities over the course of my life to question the validity of ‘the reality’ that I was experiencing at the time.

You don’t have to take hallucinogens to see some strange stuff around you once in awhile.  Maybe you catch something slipping past in your peripheral vision, and you turn around quickly to determine if you had just imagined seeing it or if something/someone was actually there.

Since the point of this blog is to support you in finding your own truth, I’m going to say that each of us has our own version of REALITY that we perceive with our many senses and replay in endless loops between our ears while trying to decipher meaning from all that we experience.  

Sometimes that REALITY is similar in appearance and content to the REALITY of other people, and other times, it is quite different.

Sometimes we can make a type of sense out of what we are experiencing, and other times, there is NO sense to be made of it because it doesn’t exist under the rules of the ‘MUST MAKE SENSE’ judiciary.  Sometimes it doesn’t even exist under the laws of known physics. 

“Sometimes, LIFE just IS.”

So how can you possibly MAKE SENSE of the strangeness around you when it refuses to follow the rules and laws?

That realization of: “Not everything in life makes sense,” can be a hard one to accept, because we want to believe that LIFE is understandable and stable, and that if we play by all the rules of LIFE we will succeed at our endeavors and be happy and prosperous in our lives.

BUT,…while we might be so dutifully playing by all the rules that we’ve been taught, LIFE itself isn’t required to follow them.  

LIFE just is.

I met a friend, a practicing psychologist actually, who went through the Shamanic group (14 of us) experience with me, and we would often talk about how malleable REALITY actually was, depending on your focus—depending on where it was that you placed your attention at the moment.

It didn’t have to be a question of personal BELIEF—nor of any desired outcome; you simply had to be aware of how you perceived the world around you when you let your preconceptions of it slip aside.

It appeared to us that the world was far more ‘unlimited’ than we had once thought it to be.

The most difficult aspect of this realization was that this new knowledge of the ‘unlimited’ nature of the world could become quite psychologically destabilizing when your foundational understanding on the ‘nature of REALITY’, suddenly crumbled to the ground. 

It was helpful at the time to all of us in those shamanic classes that we had experienced what we did as a group so that we could talk with each other about our personal experiences, and then compare notes—similarities, differences, etc. It was like having individual scouts exploring a new territory and then gathering back together to map the uncharted sections by each person’s account of it. No two territory accounts were ever exactly the same, but most were similar.

All of us perceive and interpret in our own ways what we are individually inputting through our senses. Even when we are in unknown territory, we ALL are automatically trying to make some type of sense out of what we are experiencing. That’s part of how we are wired to interact with this LIFE experience—to  make quick sense of any situations that we may face and to learn from those interactions, because that is how we survive to live another day.

At least during the shamanic group experience of LIFE’s strangeness, we weren’t left alone to make some type of sense over what we had personally perceived.  When the ‘unbelievable’ is shared, it doesn’t seem so psychologically threatening because then you’re just building a new foundation of mutual understanding that allows for your interpretive input into it.

While each human brain may be an organic mass of electrically firing nerve synapses and purpose-specific, high-functioning, data-processing, interrelated tissues, what we call ‘the MIND’ is connected into the greater collective consciousness for this dimension of reality and beyond. 

We may perceive the world around us using our body’s limited five-sense perception equipment that filters through our brain’s processing center, but our unspecified ‘sixth-sense’ is what connects us to the greater MIND at large, and shows us at times how truly unlimited those existing possibilities can be.  

I hope that someday in the near future we ALL can recalibrate our conceptual understanding of known REALITY, because until we do, it will be hard to make sense of (and to accept) what it may actually be, because right now, LIFE just IS.

Being Kind

There is a lot going on right now—in the nation, in the world, in the cosmos, and especially within us.  Whether you attribute it all to Mercury in Retro or the end of the astrological year, or any other external force, or even to the world-wide fears/anger over a world seemingly out of control, as an energy worker myself I know that we are always swimming in oceans of energy from various sources, both known and unknown.

We are constantly affected by not just the words or actions of others—we are also affected by the energies that they emit.

We generate energy ourselves, and the frequency of the energy that radiates from us can affect those around us as well. So when we are having a tough time emotionally, it can often be felt by others who are close to us both physically and energetically.  They don’t have to see the look on your face to know that something is wrong with you—they can FEEL it, even from a distance.

A couple nights ago I felt a sudden wave of severe sadness—deep, deep heart-wrenching sadness—that brought painful memories to my mind and tears to my eyes.  I immediately thought “What brought that on? What triggered that particular memory and the energetic ‘sadness’ packet that accompanies it?”

It literally felt like I was immediately submerged in an overwhelming sadness that was engulfing me, and that if I didn’t pull out of it soon, I might not resurface intact. So I acknowledged the depth of what I was feeling, then released the memories and energy connected to them by physically blowing them out with forceful exhalations (It’s an energy-release technique that is very effective for shifting powerful emotions.), and eventually my mood stabilized back to where I had been prior, but it still left me trying to make sense out what I had so suddenly experienced.

The next day on Facebook I saw where one of my REIKI students had posted a simple call for help online with the lone statement of “I don’t want to do this anymore.”  Fortunately she had numerous other friends who jumped in and offered support and to call and talk, etc., and then she had later replied back that she was okay and had just needed to vent that degree of sadness (possibly over her mother’s death last year) to others who might care about her. She had needed a few kind words and some visible signs of caring from her friends. And thankfully she was capable of asking for it.

Also that same day on Facebook, another friend posted the graphic above saying “Today you could be standing next to someone who is trying their best not to fall apart…So whatever you do today do it with kindness in your heart.”

And I knew then that what I had felt myself was more a part of the collective grief and sadness energies than my own, but also that my REIKI student and myself were energetically bonded through our own attunement frequencies, so not only was I likely feeling her vulnerability pulling my frequency lower, but my ability to reverse my frequency direction and quickly pull myself out of the overwhelming funk, may have helped her to stabilize as well.

I mention this here because there are times when we feel like we are truly alone in our grief or our difficulties, and I want to assure anyone reading this that you are NEVER alone in this life experience, because we’re all going through it with you at the same time in our own ways.

We are constantly affected by and affecting others in everything that we do.  This is the importance of making conscious efforts to keep your focus on positive outcomes, but to also deal with the less-positive realities that you may face in the best possible manner for you, so you don’t stew in those lower frequencies for very long.  Don’t ignore the problems or the sad emotions—don’t pretend they aren’t happening—DO SOMETHING to change the situation itself to a more positive outcome.

And when you need a little extra support or encouragement, you only have to bring it to the attention of folks who do care about you, or to those who can offer professional advice.

We are all in this life together. And being kind to one another is not a lot to ask from others, but it is more than deeply appreciated when you actually need it yourself.  

Choosing Our Life Focus

You may find that over the course of your life-span there are times when you simply change directions for whatever reason, and when that happens, your focus in life also changes.

Perhaps a person or a place or a job or a goal or a personal effort of some sort that had been your main focus for a part of your life suddenly isn’t, so for some reason—even if through no fault of your own—where you had once put all of your energies and attention, no longer requires you to do so.  And that attention shift may leave you stewing on what or where to refocus your energies so that you don’t feel like you are left hanging out in mid-air with no purpose for rising in the morning.  

Let’s say that the object (person, job, place, situation, friends, etc.) of your previous focus may have changed in some way, or maybe you changed in how you once considered it or them. 

Or perhaps the world tilted 90 degrees to the right and you got tired of leaning so hard in the opposite direction that you nearly twisted yourself into knots just trying to maintain your balance, which forced you to refocus your efforts in a different manner entirely. It required you to shift your perspective of the overall situation to a broader overview that eliminated focusing so strongly on specific annoying details.

If you can easily relate to what I’m describing, you are not alone in feeling this—this shift in life focus happens to all of us at some point in our lives.  And for whatever reason that the sudden change has occurred in our life, it forces us to refocus our intentions and our efforts in some manner.  

Sometimes the refocus is more automatic for us—based more so on our immediate needs to improve or maintain our lifestyle. I would call that a situational refocus where the necessary situation that we now face dictates our new-direction.

But sometimes the refocus is deliberate and is accompanied by an inner attitude shift where it becomes more of a conscious personal choice in where we now place our time and our efforts.  I would call that refocus intentional.  That refocus is based on our defined intentions for pursuing a specific outcome—which means that our main efforts toward achieving that desired outcome become our life’s objective; and likewise, achieving that new objective becomes our new focus.

Since this is a complicated concept, here are a couple ‘automatic refocus’ examples: There’s nothing like a new job to sharpen your wits and put you on your best behaviors.  New job means new work associates and new bosses, not to mention tighter requirements for demonstrating your work ethic, adjusting your personal attire, and being more congenial in the workgroup at large.  You’ve got to be a team-player now, if you already weren’t prior. Your new focus is on making a good and lasting impression on the new management so that you can keep this new job that pays the bills.

How about a new love interest?  Maybe you are thinking something along this scenario while coaching yourself on how to keep from blowing it: ‘Better polish up those personal manners to shine like the sun.  And whatever you do on this first date, don’t act like you do when you’re sitting alone at home on the couch, watching all that blood and gore on the tube while shoving salty things into your mouth and spilling half of it on the floor. No. Better not be yourself, in all your natural majesty as master of your domain, when trying to impress a new squeeze.’ 

In essence, the potential impact of that NEW person entering your life will quickly refocus you to ACT in different ways or even to BECOME someone who might seem more desirable to others. That refocus may not be exactly who you really are if left to your own devices, but you are at least aware that it helps you to be considered more favorably by the other person—which means to be considered more as ‘companion-material’ to others, rather than allowing them to witness your usual more repulsive ‘couch-sloth’ behaviors.

Those personal changes that you willingly adopted, no matter the results that may be achieved from them in the future, shifted your life focus from stale sameness to the greater excitement of possible new experiences ahead.  And that focus shift away from your previous life stagnancy may have actually helped you to feel more alive—to feel more purposeful than you had previously felt if left to your own habitual monotony.

These prior focus-shift examples are natural ones that we seem to slip into without deliberation, primarily because they are so ‘basic-needs’ driven.  We need a job to eat and have a home/couch to trash with salty snacks; and we need someone that we care about to share our lives and who can, in turn, help us to feel more loved and appreciated. (And occasionally tell us to get off the couch and do something more productive.)

But there are also focus choices that go beyond our basic-survival needs list, like how we choose our daily attitude—how we choose to wake each morning and view the world around us with awe or with dread; or how we focus our efforts on possibly helping others in some way, rather than trying to scam them.

Maybe we might try focusing our extra time on how to better the living conditions of those who are NOT us, or do we instead simply choose to focus on ourselves, sometimes at the expense of others.

These are more intentional focuses. And when you execute an intentional refocus, you create a set of expectations for yourself and for the intended results of your actions.

An intentional refocus can be a BIG life change because it may not be something that you HAVE to do to survive, but it may be something that requires deeper commitment from you in some way—a time commitment—and energy-expenditure commitment—a major shift in attitude—a devotion of sorts—a serious decision to take your life in one particular direction solely because you feel the inner need to do so.

An intentional refocus is something we CHOOSE for ourselves. It’s not something that was chosen for us or that we had no say in. It is instead a driving force to create greater meaning both in and from our lives.

And when it comes down to the most basic considerations, LIFE will always present us with many opportunities to explore all the many choices that each day provides, but it’s up to us to determine where we place our focus for each day—what are our values, our principles, our personal goals—what do we determine matters the most to not only our existence, but to the existence of others as well?

How we consciously CHOOSE OUR LIFE FOCUS determines how we actually live our lives. 

In our daily reality, our FOCUS is where we put our life-force energies—the energies of creation and manifestation.

First determining our focus intention and then executing it, is how we decide to use those creative energies—because that’s how we manifest our lifeour intentional focus is what our life becomes—and choosing our focus wisely helps us to not only live our lives in the desired manner, it is also makes us more likely to BECOME who it is that we truly wish to BE.

On Taking Ownership

Here is my recognition of those lingering ‘between-the-ears’ reverberations from when I’ve truly annoyed myself over something that I was thinking at the time or worse, over an unpleasant ‘something’ that I actually did: ‘Gosh, can I blame all my short-comings on someone other than me, because then I wouldn’t have to feel so guilty and inadequate for having them ?’

A brief attempt at taking ownership of said repulsive thought or action: ‘Unfortunately those lesser personal attributes and annoying peculiarities in my personality are truly mine and I am taking ownership of them in their entirety. Well, sort of, I guess.  Maybe I don’t want to take ownership of ALL of them. Maybe they’re not ALL my fault.’

Second attempt at taking ownership: ‘I still may not like what I do when those lesser traits surface from their hidden depths—like my impatience or my occasional temper loss—but I can acknowledge them as something that I simply have to accept about myself and live with—at least until those lesser personality aspects miraculously lift away from my luminous spirit once I’m an “enlightened being.”  HA!‘  

Thankfully I can still laugh at myself for the actual thoughts that do pass through my mind. I don’t necessarily LIKE them when they veer from my intended life direction but I can’t deny thinking them, because self-honesty is key to truly understanding and accepting ourselves just as we are—even in our most unpleasant imperfections.

And maybe we are all similar in that ‘inner dissatisfaction with who and what we appear to be.’  Maybe THAT is an aspect of our basic humanity—the constant striving for something better than our current condition, combined with the occasional failure to align with our best intentions.  Maybe that is what keeps it so REAL for us; rather than our slipping into a mental fantasy created to support ourselves during difficult situations or periods in our life.

Hey I’ve been there—I’ve done that.  When you are going through a really bad time, the fantasy-life world you create works for a while—at least until it doesn’t. Then the only thing that WILL work for you is to make an actual LIFE CHANGE.  And no matter how necessary it might be to make that crucial change, it is still very hard to do.

In truth none of us are as perfect as we often wish that we were. We aren’t as smart, or as good-looking, or as clever, or as witty, or as rich, or as compassionate, or as understanding, OR we simply aren’t where we thought that we would be by now at this point in our lives.

Instead we are simply right here—right now—just being us; and that US always seems to have a much longer way to go to prove to the world that we deserve its unconditional love, along with all those other good things that may possibly come our way.  

We know that we deserve to be treated with respect and appreciation—we know this—it’s a rational consideration for living in a civilized societyBut that ‘actual sense of being respected and appreciated by others’ may not be what we are feeling at the time.  And as we are all too painfully aware, FEELINGS can often overpower RATIONAL THOUGHTS.

Here are a few more mental reverberations from my original self-assessment above (except for some obviously self-justifying reason, I pluralized it): ‘We know that we deserve good things happening for us because we are good beings at heart—we are good people who care about others.  Well, maybe we don’t care as much about others as we may care about ourselves, but still…., that doesn’t make us BAD people does it? Isn’t a little self-focus necessary sometimes?’

Ah yes. A little truth quickly followed by an attempt to reduce the self-blame.  That sounds about right. That’s how MY mind works.  There’s NO wounded EGO in my wheelhouse.  But hey, that is ME—that’s WHO I am.

Taking ownership of our lesser aspects without trying so hard to separate the entirety of our being into GOOD and BAD actors battling for control over our daily lives, is NOT easily done.  We may aspire to higher ideals—we may work towards providing more compassionate responses to the discomforts and cruelties that we often see around us, but sometimes we are simply who we are in our own little worlds—just trying to keep our own heads above the water and trying so hard to make some kind of sense out of so much senselessness wherever we look.  

We are right here—right now—just doing the best that we can in our own ways. It may not be a perfect effort in that respect, but we ARE making AN EFFORT to do better in and for this world.

So please lighten up on yourselves.  None of us may be exactly where we wish that we were at this stage of our human-consciousness evolution, but we are at least aware of our potentials for improvement, even as we try to accept our present ‘glaring’ imperfections with more grace, humor, and self-forgiveness. 

What’s Your Label?

During my own quest for self-awareness, I’ve often wondered how I would categorize myself were I into doing so, which I’m definitely not since I don’t believe in labeling people.

But still, in the back of my mind is that tickling question that asks ‘But what if I were into labels, how would I categorize myself and my views?’

Am I a realist, a pragmatist, an optimist; or how about the less admirable and acceptable labels like, am I a wacko, a crank, a nut-job?  (Maybe it depends on what I’m writing at the time and who might be reading it.)

In truth, does it matter how I or others might label me while trying to fit me into some standard classification system that feels more comfortable to them? It certainly doesn’t matter to me, but maybe it does to them who are feeling the need to do so just to get a better handle on my actual views.  

I understand that to some folks assigning a descriptive ‘label’ to someone might make that other person’s views either more palatable to the assigner or totally unacceptable to them.  But more specifically, is there any value in labeling myself in such a manner to be able to describe my views to others so they can hopefully recognize and approve of the more familiar aspects of my personal perspective?  

Seriously?  Is this a trick question? 

Yes, I’ve used myself as example here to help you see that not only do we tend to ‘categorize’ others in certain ways, we also tend to categorize ourselves—think of ourselves in certain ways—and when we reduce the sum of our experiences and our evolving beliefs about LIFE in that manner, we are limiting our potential for our future expansion of consciousness.

I doubt that any of us are the same people we were thirty years ago, or even twenty years ago, …or maybe even last week.  We change. We personally experience the various aspects of this crazy life and it AFFECTS us—it twists us—it bends us at times under the weight of its horrid, cruel realities. 

And if we don’t break under the pressure of LIFE’s frequent brutality, we EVOLVE in our understanding of the world itself, just as we EVOLVE in our understanding of ourselves in the process.  Pretty hard to label someone that fluid who constantly changes states of being as necessary to the moment that it occurs.  

I think the best label I’ve seen for that constantly evolving person would be to call him or her ‘dynamic’—in constant flow.  So if you want to describe yourself as “DYNAMIC”, I’m okay with that descriptor, but beyond that, I hope you wouldn’t pin yourself down to anyone else’s attempts to classify the amazing, shape-shifting BEING known as YOU, because it couldn’t begin to do you justice. 

Making Assumptions

Such a tough thing to do: To restrain from making assumptions—passing unsubstantiated judgments on people, places, things, situations, etc., when we have no actual data to support those beliefs.

Maybe you are better at it than I am, but I have a hard time not “assuming” the outcome of a pending dispute or the likelihood of a person’s future behavior based on their already established history in similar situations.

But when we ‘think we know’ what someone is like or what someone will do, we are making quite a prognostic leap; and sometimes those assumptions have less to do with the person/object/situation under consideration, and more to do with what’s going on within us when we’re making them.

To increase your self-awareness, when you are looking hard at your own information-processing abilities—like how you tend to compartmentalize or assign values to the doings of your life—or how you tend to view others in your immediate surroundings as beneficial or non-beneficial to you—or how you tend to interpret the unexpected events that happen in your life as advantageous or detrimental to you—or even how you perceive the world around you reacting to your efforts in those regards as either with you or against you—you know, when you finally get to the point where you are truly self-assessing WHY you do WHAT you do, then you start to question all the components of your decision-making process and you take more time to determine what inner motives might be the driving factors in your making them.  

That is not to say that you are condemning yourself for how you made those decisions—not at all.  It’s simply saying that you are really trying to better understand WHY you’re making them in the manner that you are, especially when they are very similar to decisions you’ve previously made.

This is how you learn about your ‘inner workings’—your worldly beliefs, your value systems, your personal ethics—because this is all about better understanding how you make sense of your world and how you see yourself functioning within it, which are often based on assumptions that you intentionally or unintentionally make daily.  

Some examples: Does someone you’ve just met ‘remind’ you of someone in your past who affected you in a certain way? Can you really view this new person without doing mental comparisons in looks, manners, style, actions, etc., to the previous person? 

Can you attend an event that has the same atmospheric vibe as a previous highly-affecting event in your life and not get that sense of déjà vu because of it? What is similar? What is different? WHY?

While our personal history often informs us of patterns and similarities that have occurred during our lives, sometimes that same history tries to define how we view our present or it may taint our perception of the possible future.  It may limit us or restrict us in some way, simply because we assume certain things based on past familiarities.

We assume certain things about our lives. We assume the earth will keep on spinning and the sun will keep on appearing first in the east.

We assume that when we go to bed at night, we will wake in the morning.

We assume our autonomic nervous system will keep our heart pumping, our lungs breathing, and our digestion system flowing so we can go about our daily duties in the best way that we can.

We assume that no matter how difficult the previous day had been that this new day ahead has the possibility of being better in some way.

We often assume that the people appearing in our lives are either good- or bad-natured, and we adjust our dealings with them accordingly. But what if that assumption was wrong? How would we treat them if we considered ALL people as good-natured?

I’m just saying that once you start your own internal investigations, you may come to some realizations that what you perceive about the world around you may have a lot more to do with what is going on inside you than you had originally assumed.

So try to be a bit more aware of how you make certain assumptions about people, places, or situations before giving them a chance to play out on their own.

You may not always be pleasantly surprised by their true natures, but then sometimes you just might.