The Gray-Scale Zone

Over the last 25 years, I’ve been trained in many healing modalities—many techniques used to help facilitate a client’s progress during their own personal healing journey.

In other words: I know ‘stuff.’  I can do ‘stuff.’

My more spiritual work began with the Japanese energy-therapy practice of REIKI.  Then I received training in Karuna REIKI (higher-frequency version of REIKI).  Then I studied the eclectic mix of Shamanism, Compassionate Depossession, and lastly, Certified Hypnosis.

You know, ‘stuff’—the stuff they don’t teach at universities.

Some techniques work more effectively for some client situations than others; but I’m not wedded to any particular healing modality over the others. Knowing so many different techniques helps me keep an open and curious mind to whatever is occurring during the client-treatment process; and it helps me to theorize/philosophize on what is actually happening to ALL of us while we co-exist in this strange place we call LIFE.

So today I see in Alberto Villoldo’s posting his mention of ‘the gray zone’ that I’d mentioned previously in “Becoming the VOID” where whatever I perceived (‘see’ in a sense but likely 3rd-eye type of ‘seeing’) in that gray-scale zone appears as a photo-negative; i.e., whites of eyes are black, pupils are white, bodies are various shades of darkness, and the background is the nastiest overall grayness that you can imagine.

Alberto even mentioned it as the ‘void’ like I had said. ‘Gray-scale zone’ might be a more accurate name to call it, so I’ll just go with that because I don’t know how to explain it any other way.

There’s a vacuous ‘feeling’ to go with the ‘seeing’ aspect in that place. It doesn’t FEEL like this dimension of existence FEELS energy-wise. The Gray Zone feels more energy draining—more hopeless and endless—if those can be accurate terms to describe the place, which is likely just a different frequency dimension with its own rules and parameters of existence there.

What comes to mind as a pretty good simile to ‘the gray-zone place’ is that Robin William’s movie “What Dreams May Come” –the gray-scale zone is like the place where William’s depressed wife camped out after her death—because upon dying she didn’t make it all the way home to true Spirit World—she got stuck in that dark, hopeless place because she wouldn’t willingly move beyond it.

Now as one who has been shamanically trained in Soul Retrieval, I know exactly what Villoldo is describing in his posting: a practitioner goes in search of a client’s missing energetic soul-part because the client can’t fully heal without the missing part of herself returned; which means that ‘the missing soul part’ originally split off from the client’s main energy body during a traumatic experience, a shock, a grueling ordeal, or some other strange oath that they long ago declared; and it  could have happened either in this lifetime or previous ones.

It’s complicated to describe the actual process and how you really do it, so I can’t go into it much beyond this, but the story Alberto is describing gives a hint of how it transpires and how a wayward soul part can be brought back to help make the client more whole again.  If you are further interested, check out his blog post for the complete story.


“Healing the Death Within Us” –Alberto Villoldo

“All of us have felt haunted by death at one time or another. Sometimes all we see before us, behind us, to one side and then the other is death. For the shaman this can be a calling to initiation, and we are fortunate when we can have such an experience before our physical death arrives.

The danger is when we do not allow ourselves to die symbolically and be reborn, and instead become lost in a gray, forbidding place between worlds. Then the shaman must do a soul retrieval for his client to coax that soul part back so that the person may become whole and live fully once again. Part of the soul retrieval process is to renegotiate a new agreement with Spirit, exchanging ancient vows and toxic promises for more life-affirming contracts. …”

“The soul retrieval journey took Jean back through her years in a convent to a time long ago, …

During a soul retrieval, in the chamber of wounds, there appeared a dungeon-like room with a brass crucifix. On the bed was a slight figure, Sister Francis, the wounded one – a vessel of suffering. Building a fire of transformative light, Jean and Sister Francis brought out of the shadows all the wounds that had become like connective tissue for the soul of Sister Francis:  pain, humiliation, loneliness, depression, the unknown, judgments, whispers, groundless guilt, sterile solitude, the sheer void. As the wounds were consumed by the fire, Sister Francis’ sick room became a place of healing.

Sister Francis, that part of who Jean was before divesting herself of her habit, acknowledged that the misery, rumination and scraping of wounds had to end for Jean to be able to get back to the original beauty of her soul, and for her to heal.”

“… Healing takes place on many levels, and sometimes the body lags behind the mind and the mind behind the soul. Jean’s attitude toward suffering could change, but that didn’t mean the end of illness or disease for her.

If you would like to find out more about Jean and all the work we did together, read more about her story in ‘The Shaman’s Book of Living and Dying: Tools for healing Body, Mind and Spirit.’ “


Published by Rebecca A. Holdorf

Rebecca A. Holdorf, has a Masters in English, and is a certified hypnotist specializing in Past-Life Exploration and Spirit World Exploration. She is also a Usui and Karuna REIKI Master Teacher presently located near Davenport, Iowa. Author of five books, she also conducts workshops and training in Self-empowerment, True-self Actualization and REIKI. Her company is Foundations of Light, LLC, web address is . Contact her at .

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