Yes, “wounds”—we all have them—physical, mental, emotional, and even spiritual.
We all have felt the sting of rejection or humiliation in our lives, or we still have unresolved issues that stem from previous childhood or relationship traumas. That inner wounding aspect is simply an unpleasant but necessary part of this experience called LIFE.
If we are caring people at all, it isn’t that we can avoid being “wounded” by others in our lives. The real trick for us is to NOT let the ‘wounding’ itself define us as to whether we are worthy of even existing in this world; because the circumstances or situation of the ‘wounding incident’ are meant more so to simply challenge us to see how quickly we can learn to more creatively respond to those unpleasant emotional/psychological confrontations. And likewise how well we learn to behaviorally adapt in whatever way is necessary to then rise above the lingering residues of that particular LIFE challenge.
This is part of our LIFE curriculum while in this plane of existence. It’s WHAT we do—it’s WHY we are here: to fully experience the highs and lows—the good experiences and the bad ones that LIFE offers us.
Yes, it’s likely that we’ve all known love lost and emotional devastation. Or we are at least very familiar with having our dreams dashed or our hopes for a ‘better life’ dissolved away in the wash cycle of the moment’s harsher realities.
But those deeply-felt ‘emotional wounds’ that we hide somewhere inside us are often harder for others to detect than physical wounding unless you are intently looking for them in someone else’s reactive behavior and/or in their social-interactions.
And speaking quite frankly here, in today‘s world how many folks go around looking for someone else’s tell-tale signs of being severely psychologically traumatized or of having been emotionally abused?
I mean it isn’t that we’re all so intentionally insensitive to another’s pain. It is more likely that we’re all just dealing with our own “stuff” at the time and didn’t take the effort to acknowledge someone else’s unpleasant emotional residues when they suddenly arose in that moment.
That may sound a bit defensive or even cynical of me, but this isn’t meant to be offensive in any way—it is simply a realistic and pragmatic attempt to address what I see occurring in our current world; and even in some of my peripheral friends at times. You know, sometimes we can take things a bit TOO personally.
Example: This morning I’m just browsing through my Facebook page and see yet another post from a person I follow on ‘how oblivious and cruel people can be to unseen emotional trauma in others’—meaning, particularly in that person posting it.
And while patiently reading through this because I am a peripheral friend, I’m thinking, “Well, yes, perhaps that overall ‘blatant ignorance and uncaring attitude about others’—and particularly about YOU in this case, may be true; and yes, perhaps most folks we encounter aren’t that concerned about our personal mental health especially IF it doesn’t affect/involve them; BUT…..WHY are you posting this publically for YOUR ‘followers’ unless YOU want sympathy for the woundedness that you still carry; and WHY are trying to make others feel shame/guilt for treating you so callously, especially since that ‘oblivious and cruel’ person probably isn’t even on your ‘friends list,’ so he’ll likely never see this?”
In other words—why make the rest of us ‘witness’ this cry for sympathy and acknowledgement of your old wounds?
While there isn’t much else I can say about my friend’s public condemnation ‘on the insensitivity of others’, I do want to state this:
- There are times in LIFE when nothing goes right and everything seems stacked against you. And if LIFE subsequently knocks you flat one or more times during this process, then you may struggle a bit, but eventually you must stand back up as best you can and face the world again.
- There will be unfortunate moments in LIFE when those you care most about will disappoint you—hurt you—or flat-out demolish what was left of your self-esteem. Cry if you must, but never stop believing in yourself. You are the best friend you will ever have—the one you can always rely on the most. Never forget that.
- When it seems that all the good-breaks in LIFE go elsewhere and what’s left on your doorstep are crumbs or cast-offs from someone else’s good fortune, then start thinking about your life differently—start looking in different places for opportunities to test your resourcefulness—to let you excel in LIFE with a positive attitude and a strong work ethic. It’s truly hard to find someone in today’s world who isn’t afraid to work hard, get sweaty/dirty, and get that difficult job done—and done well. Be that person! You will be in constant demand.
- When you feel like your LIFE no longer has meaning and your friends have all abandoned you, then maybe it’s time to meet new friends. Maybe it’s time to volunteer to help others in some way. Maybe it’s less about feeling sorry for yourself in your own predicament and seeing how unbelievably bad others really have it just to survive day to day. Nothing like a little ‘reality check’ with those even less fortunate than you are to shift your own attitude to recognizing the abundance that you may already have but didn’t previously consider.
- And finally, eventually you will learn that much of LIFE is based on being ‘relative’ to what you see, feel, know, and do. Advantages in LIFE are often relative to your current situation and how you intentionally view them. It’s all about PERSPECTIVE and how you ‘frame things’ in your life. What is important to you? What means the most to you? Could things be better for you? Sure. But they could also be a whole lot worse, so make the most of what you have and keep moving forward day by day toward that vision of how you want your life to be. Never give up. Never give in. And never stop pursuing your dreams.
‘Woundedness’ is just a word that describes a ‘weak spot’ in our current mode of daily operation—physically, mentally, emotionally, or spiritually. We may never make sense of the reason for the ‘wounding’ itself. All we may ever know is that the ‘wounded area’ may still hurt because the initial pain never really left us. Sometimes that ‘wound’ may seem as fresh as the day it actually occurred; and other times it just nags at us when we try to move forward in life—a constant reminder of our vulnerability.
Perhaps the real problem here lies more in how we view ourselves. Are we the perpetual ‘victim of a bad situation/incident’ that occurred sometime in our lives, or are we more likely the still-living survivor of a difficult time for us that occurred in our past, and that’s where we left it—in the past.
LIFE doesn’t encourage us to be its ‘victims’ because victims don’t last long in the real world out there. Evolution in LIFE is all about being a ‘survivor’.
So to my Facebook ‘friend’ mentioned earlier, I would suggest that she get some professional help to move out of that ‘victim’ mindset she seems to be still clinging to, and move intentionally into the much healthier ‘survivor’ mindset. It’s the only way to truly move forward with your life, for her or for any of us.
We can do this because it’s what we ALL have to do. We learn to ‘survive,’ before we can thrive.