Love that picture above.
It expresses so clearly our inner need for closeness without all these additional words that I will soon add here. It shows our need to reach out to others and to be recognized and ACCEPTED by others—to truly be seen as a ‘being of substance’ within the structural framework of who we pretend to be when we isolate ourselves and try to protect ourselves from future social rejection or from the devastating pain of heartache.
No matter how large we become or how old that we grow, somewhere deep inside us is that small, vulnerable being who once needed parental love and nurturing—who craved acceptance and support from those closest to us, especially from those people who were meant to protect us from harm and to keep us safe and secure while we were growing up as children—parental figures who should have provided us with plenty to eat and a warm place to sleep—where fear and worries were something unimaginable to us.
But what was just described may not have been your earliest memories. Unfortunately there are a lot of wounded children within many of us who are still craving the love and acceptance of others, but are instead feeling trapped by their own defensive adult structure that grew up protectively around them.
Many children had to learn early on how to protect themselves. Some may have repeatedly tried to do that, but were beaten back into submission through their life situations until they simply stopped trying to defend themselves and merely learned what was most necessary to do to survive their ordeal at the time.
If that picture above really resonates with you or if it makes you feel uncomfortable, then there is something in that personal feeling of discomfort that should be explored—by yourself through journaling, or by a therapist or a certified counselor, or explored through some type of therapeutic process that allows you to safely review those earliest remembered reasons for why you first learned to withdraw socially or hide from others, or learned to keep your inner-most feelings stuffed deep down inside so they wouldn’t make you vulnerable to others who had complete control of your life long before you were capable of protecting yourself.
Please recognize that there are many people who can currently help you to better support your once-wounded inner child; and one of the most important people who can lead that intentional rescue is YOU.
Please be willing to open a new, safer space for your inner child to breathe freely again—let it know that there are others who truly DO care about it—others who DO care about YOU.
Let that inner child know that there are people in your life who can appreciate you just as you are, even if you currently feel defective or wounded in some way—others who can support you—others who can help you to grow stronger and be better able to handle life’s challenges again.
But first and foremost, YOU have to be the one who leads the charge for a life change. This is what personal transformation is all about—recognizing a need to change some aspect of your life—to make it better—to make your life more desirable to live—to find your true JOY in life. It’s not too late to find it!
Have the courage of those two little inner-beings in that picture above who are reaching out to each other.
In the essence of our life experience, that is WHY we are here.