It may well be that “During the darkest nights we see the greatest amount of stars,” but maybe you have to be watching for them to fully appreciate what you are viewing.
Seriously though, we are not strangers to night time, just as we are not strangers to adversity or difficult times in our lives; which leads me to another often used catch-all: “Tough times don’t last, tough people do.”
Now when YOU are having a really rough time of it, how does that make you feel when someone says something inane like that to you? Was it helpful in shifting your perspective of the overall unpleasant situation or was it hurtful that your actual feelings could be taken with so little regard?
Maybe it depends on your personality—your inclination toward reacting one way or another when goaded or prodded or even ‘questioned’ about how you are handling your current life situation.
We all react a bit differently to the good intentions of others because we all are wired to handle unpleasant life situations in slightly different fashions. Some of us are pugnacious and obstinate, ready to do battle with any breeze that dares to ruff our hair, while others of us are more delicate and sensitive, and have a harder time mustering combative emotions to defend ourselves from any slight because those haven’t always been our best defensive postures in the past. Nothing like a little real-world experiencing to teach us what has and hasn’t worked successfully for us.
As diverse human beings in the present world, we all are a myriad of possibilities to any situation that tests our mettle. Is standing alone, but stiff and strong to face the oncoming battle the best option for us, or is watching the show from the sidelines while others battle it out for their personal survival, more our style? Which is the smarter move? Is there a right or a wrong to either decision?
Which would you be? Are you more likely the gladiator in the testing arena or the gallery spectator silently cheering for one side or the other?
And more to the point itself, how would YOU best survive the dark night ahead considering all your known survival options?
Since I’ve always been more gladiator-inclined than spectator (How dare that wind ruff my hair!), I naturally have my own opinions on the matter, but that doesn’t mean that my personal opinions are what is right for you, and thankfully I’ve finally got that consideration through my, at times, very hard head.
Which means how do YOU determine what is YOUR best option when facing personal difficulty?
I will keep returning to increasing your self-awareness as your best solution to better understanding your past and current life difficulties, because if you fail to recognize your default behavior patterns in tough situations, then you will keep resorting to them whenever faced with mental, emotional, or physical challenges in your life. And I guarantee that LIFE will keep providing those challenges to you just to help you learn from them.
The late, self-help guru Wayne Dyer had a great story about a guy who kept falling into this open hole whenever he walked a certain path. Day after day, …walking…walking…oops—down he went into the hole. Each day the guy tried a number of things to avoid making that same mistake while walking that same path, but no matter how he tried to sidestep the hole, he still kept falling into it.
Then one day he got the BIG idea to walk a different path, and guess what? He didn’t fall into the hole. He was rewarded for breaking his behavior pattern with success; and he learned a NEW path for getting where he wanted to go without the obstacle that once beckoned him.
There are many ways to get through tough times—whether you face them alone or with help from others, but no matter what you do, please recognize that there are also many options available to you for support during your life difficulties, just as there are many other paths in life to walk, to avoid that darn hole.