Seriously that’s a good question: What is this ‘emotional intelligence’ that everyone talks about?
Online it is described as: “Emotional intelligence refers to the ability to perceive, understand, and manage one’s own emotions and relationships. It involves being aware of emotions in oneself and others and using this awareness to guide thinking and behavior. Emotionally intelligent individuals can motivate themselves, read social cues, and build strong relationships..” (Simplypsychology.org)
Perhaps the easiest way to comprehend the importance of this concept is if you have previously been around an autistic person (like someone with Asperger’s Syndrome) who seems quite normal in personal behavior until it comes to reading ‘people cues’ on how others feel about certain subjects or situations. They may have trouble assessing (or feeling) that empathy factor, and have greater difficulty in recognizing the emotional struggles in others, or they can’t understand why other people reacted adversely to them or to something they had said.
That doesn’t mean they don’t feel emotions in general. It just means that they have more trouble recognizing what is emotionally happening within themselves and within others, so they may make more social faux pas than those folks without autism; and they could seem more clinically focused and unfeeling on the surface when they may actually be feeling the situation deeply—but they are not able to express it well, if at all.
Now for the rest of us, our empathy recognition factor varies as well. Some of us don’t really care what others are feeling about most anything, including how they feel about us, so we may be less inclined to see the importance of this emotional intelligence rating factor. Others may view it as a necessary skill to cultivate for enhanced communication within group dynamics.
But it is important for you to at least understand your OWN feelings and emotions including what makes you feel good, bad, or sad; because if you aren’t feeling anything, then that may cause a problem in your life as well.
Sometimes the world can just be too much for us—too much hatred—too much violence—and too little compassion and caring for others. We want to shut it all out and not see or feel any of it. The haunting question we keep stuffing down inside us might be what can we personally do about all of that nastiness wherever you look? We have NO power—NO say in how the world is run or the government reacts to most anything. What can WE do—ourselves, to counter this hatred and violence everywhere?
If that question is burrowing under your skin at present, then stop for a moment and first ask yourself what you WANT to do about it. Do you want to change the world for the better? If so, what would that require of you? Then ask what a better world would look like—sound like—feel like? Can you define it?
You are only ONE person. You know this. So what can YOU DO to make the world around YOU better? What small thing can you offer the world? Offer your friends, your neighbors, your community?
I think this is the question that bothers me: If most of us are so “emotionally intelligent” and care about the feelings of others, how can we keep quiet about what is happening around us daily, even within our own sphere of influence? How can we sit back and say nothing, or DO nothing to change this situation for the better?
Maybe we no longer can.
FINDING YOUR TRUTH 