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Mastering Oneself

“If I accept the fact that my relationships are here to make me conscious instead of happy, then my relationships become a wonderful self-mastery tool that keeps realigning me with my higher purpose for living.”        ~ Eckhart Tolle   (@  Earthschool Harmony)

Eckhart has evidently been reading my personal journal since I keep writing about self-mastery and how close relationships seem to be designed not for harmony and happiness, but for mastering one’s responses/reactions to those most close to you when those same people are less than loving and harmonious toward you.

If you are ever feeling disrespected or inappropriately criticized, sit down, take a deep breath and simply write: “Let the wind blow through you.”  That was a phrase I picked up from a Native American anthology on oral story-telling tradition. That story was about a native man who faced many trials and tribulations in life, but learned that the only situation he ever really controlled was in how he allowed those challenges and hardships to affect his character.

Meaning that if he absorbed the harshness of life or wallowed in how victimized he felt over someone else’s mistreatment of him, he then allowed the other person or situation to control his attitudes and reactions; but if instead he faced the situation as ‘becoming like the morning mist lifting at sunrise,’ he allowed the adversity to simply ‘blow through him’—not stop him, and not let those ‘winds of adversity’ affect his original intentions or his life direction—he could momentarily feel the wind’s force in his face but he allowed it to move on past him and into the distance, while he continued to rise with the sun.

“Let the wind blow through you,” while not easily done, is actually good advice. The only person you can ever really control is yourself—IF you can do that, because other people will be as they will be—maybe they are full of ‘good-enough’ intentions but they may also have little self-control to achieve those intentions which sometimes makes for ‘flawed-character actions’ toward those closest to them.

For the most part we are all similar in that respect. Who we think we are may not match how we actually behave with others or with the world in general.  But the only real choice we have is to master ourselves to not allow others to control or manipulate us into doing or being the person that we do not wish to be.

This is TRUTH: If you want to bring more harmony and happiness into your life, that task is entirely up to you alone. It is not anyone else’s responsibility to make you happy; and who you hang with or who you share your life with, are also choices that you make. You can do victimization and blame others for your unhappiness if you wish to, but your happiness is NOT their responsibility—it is YOURS.

Take responsibility for yourself—take responsibility for your own personal integrity and for your own well-being, and especially take responsibility for your own actions and reactions.

Remember: Don’t expect someone else to love you and care for you if you aren’t willing to love and care for yourself prior to their appearance in your life. That’s NOT their job—it is YOUR job.

So if you want to learn the intricacies of true self-mastery, form a close, long-term relationship with someone because the interactions between you will reveal far more about yourself and your emotional triggers and issues than it will about your companion’s idiosyncrasies. That I guarantee.


Published by Rebecca A. Holdorf

Rebecca A. Holdorf, has a Masters in English, and is a certified hypnotist specializing in Past-Life Exploration and Spirit World Exploration. She is also a Usui and Karuna REIKI Master Teacher presently located near Davenport, Iowa. Author of five books, she also conducts workshops and training in Self-empowerment, True-self Actualization and REIKI. Her company is Foundations of Light, LLC, web address is . Contact her at .

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