Dear Outside World,
I feel the need to share our group experience from living here inside the Asylum. My fellow inmates (excuse me, ‘patients’) are in various states of dissociation, disassociation, and distress—commonly called the ‘3-D’s’ here. Most stumble and mumble about their days saying thing like: ‘I can’t believe we are living through this,” or “When will this lunacy end?”
I try to remain the unaffected observer to it all, but yet, I do live here, too. So ‘good luck’ to me on that front.
Overall most inmates/patients are reasonably non-threatening and more naturally self-consumed; but there is one particular, overbearing, beached-whale-looking oaf who tries to play ‘King of the Loonies’ and creates all sorts of chaos and havoc for the rest of us in here.
We call him T-ass (TASS). Since he has no real friends, they can’t be relied on to come up with a better name for him, which is fine. He’s okay with it, and too self-absorbed to realize the moniker is not complimentary. He assumes it means ‘Takes All Stuff Superiorly’ or something to that effect. As I said, thinking is NOT his strong suit.
TASS lumbers about the building and grounds stealing our food, our blankets, our place in line, our pictures from home, and unfortunately, our underwear. He does so saying something to the effect of: “Jeffery said I could have them all,” before grabbing what he wants, then pinching the attendant on duty on the way out of the room. The men attendants don’t much appreciate it, and the women avoid him completely often threatening him with pocket-tasers.
Me, I’m just trying to get by until my time is up here. I work jigsaw puzzles daily in the community hall, and I have a stack of books from the Asylum library to read in my room. Most of the pages are still in them.
We aren’t allowed community television anymore since the content began to incite group hysteria. Two days of pulling out hair and stripping off clothes led to our TV privileges being removed. Massive bald spots on shaking heads and naked inmates/patients were not conducive to public viewing so the administration, in their infinite wisdom, decided we don’t need the press any longer—they only report the bad stuff here. And WHO wants to hear that?
The last news reporter who tried to do a fluff piece on ‘asylum life’ unfortunately asked TASS why he kept taking all ours and our neighbors personal items and valuables, and he said, “To create world peace,” which though humorous to many, did not play well on the public airwaves. The next day the head psychiatrist said we were on lock down for the ‘foreseeable future’ until our visions of reality shifted to more healthy press releases, or ‘world peace’ actually broke out.
For those of you still on the outside, I just want to assure you that we the inmates/patients of the asylum are on fast-track to reassoicating, retraining, and reeducation—the 3-R’s, as it was described to us. Those treatments were so effective in China’s less-appreciative populations that our administration adopted the practices for us as well.
In closing, here’s wishing the best to those of you who are still out there; meaning, you are NOT in here with us. If you would like to see us in person, I can also assure you that we are still allowed visitors if you are white, wealthy, and world-dominating. Or as the admittance staff commonly refers to them: the 3-W’s.
Your friend, always and forever, or as long as my sanity holds,
Inmate/patient #649351.
FINDING YOUR TRUTH 